10 Things You Should Never Buy On A Cruise

You know that sinking feeling when you check your onboard account on the last day of your cruise, and it’s way over what you expected.

I’d fallen for every single cruise ship sales pitch – the “incredible” jewelry deals, the “can’t-miss” art auction, even those ridiculous $25 photos where I’m awkwardly posing with a towel elephant. After 20+ cruises (and way too much money wasted), I’ve learned exactly which onboard purchases are total rip-offs.

Here’s the thing, from the second you board, you’re bombarded with “today only!” deals and “exclusive onboard pricing!” But most of these “deals” are anything but.

So let’s talk about the 10 worst ways to blow your cruise budget, and what to do instead.

1. Those “Incredible” Jewelry Sales

Picture this: You’re wandering the promenade deck after dinner when you hear it – “INCH OF GOLD SALE! ONE HOUR ONLY!”

But here’s the thing… That tanzanite ring they’re pushing for $500? You’ll find it for half that back home. As one redditor “FarAnt4041” said on Reddit: “The jewelry on board is high quality and high price… plenty of nice choices but they’d cost 50% less at Jared lol”

They’re banking on your vacation brain, you know, the one that’s had a few cocktails and thinks “treat yourself” is a personality trait.

The worst part? Those “appraisals” are comedy gold. One cruiser I met paid $2,000 for a diamond bracelet that appraised at home for $1,200.

The entire setup of jewelry buying on a cruise is designed to catch you when you’re relaxed and spendy.

2. Overpriced Spa Treatments

I get it – a hot stone massage while sailing through the Caribbean sounds divine. And cruise ship spas are gorgeous.

But that $250 Swedish massage? It’s $80 at your local spa.

The spa treatments on ships cost 2-3x more than on land. They’ll hit you with the “book on embarkation day for 20% off!” pitch, but even with the discount, you’re still overpaying. Plus, they push products harder than a used car salesman.

Save your spa budget for the ports of call where you’ll get better service for way less money.

3. Those Painful Internet Plans

Nothing kills the cruise vibe faster than paying $30/day for Wi-Fi that moves slower than the ship’s tender boats.

Internet connection at sea is satellite-based, which means it’s expensive AND terrible. You’ll burn through that “unlimited” internet plans data cap trying to upload one Instagram photo. Royal Caribbean and other cruise lines know they’ve got you captive, so they charge accordingly.

Pro tip: Use free Wi-Fi at ports instead. Most cafes and restaurants offer it with a small purchase.

Related reading: Can You Use WhatsApp on a Cruise Ship? Here’s What You Need to Know

4. Professional Photo Packages

Every night, those professional photographer folks are stationed everywhere, by the grand staircase, at dinner, during formal night. They snap away promising “no obligation to buy!”

Just like this Reddit user asked on r/CarnivalCruiseFans: “I can get pictures taken with no obligation to buy, correct? And then I just go to Pixels or use the app to view and buy pictures if I want?”. This quote reflects that you don’t have any obligation to pay photographers.

Yet, somehow, they still can reel you in. Then you see the prices. $25 for one 8×10? $200 for the photo packages?

Look, I’ve bought exactly two cruise photo in 15 years. Your phone takes great pics. Ask a fellow cruiser to snap a photo. The photography services are a total racket.

5. The Notorious Art Auctions

Oh boy, the art auction. Free champagne! “Museum quality pieces!” “Investment opportunities!”

These art galleries use high-pressure tactics and that “free” bubbly to loosen your wallet. The art is often mass-produced prints. That “Picasso” they’re hawking? It’s a lithograph worth maybe $50, not the $3,000 they’re asking.

I’ve seen too many cruisers wake up with buyer’s remorse and a $5,000 charge on their credit card.

Related reading: Family Speaks Out After Cruise Art Auction Leaves Them Feeling Scammed

6. Duty-Free Alcohol That Isn’t

Here’s a shocker – that duty-free alcohol isn’t always cheaper than your local liquor store.

Duty-free shops on ships mark up hard liquor because they know you can’t comparison shop in the middle of the ocean. That bottle of Grey Goose for $45? It’s $35 at Costco. Plus, you can’t even drink it on the ship – they’ll confiscate it and return it on the last day.

The only exception? If you’re sailing to countries with crazy alcohol taxes, then maybe. But for most North American cruises? Skip it.

7. Tacky Port Souvenirs

Those vacation souvenirs hawked right at the cruise terminal are tourist trap central.

You know the ones – the $30 t-shirts that say “I survived [insert port name]!” or the “authentic” local crafts that have “Made in China” stickers on the bottom. The vendors know cruise passengers have limited time and jack up prices accordingly.

Walk 10 minutes from the port, and you’ll find the same items for 70% less. Or better yet, find actual local artisans selling genuine crafts.

8. Specialty Dining Upcharges

Don’t get me wrong – I’ve had some incredible meals in specialty restaurants. But when Carnival Cruise Line wants $45 for a steakhouse dinner that’s barely better than the main dining room? Nope.

Some specialty venues are worth it (looking at you, Virgin Voyages test kitchen), but most aren’t. The gourmet food in the MDR is already included and often just as good.

Save specialty dining for truly special occasions, not every night.

9. Overpriced Beverage Packages

The math on drink packages rarely works out unless you’re planning to drink like it’s spring break 1999.

Deluxe Beverage Packages on Royal Caribbean run $65-89 per day. That means you need to down 6-8 drinks daily just to break even. Plus, everyone in your cabin has to buy the same beverage package – even if your spouse barely drinks.

Instead, buy drinks as you go or look for happy hour specials. Your liver (and wallet) will thank you.

10. Emergency Items You Should’ve Packed

This one kills me. Watching people pay $15 for sunscreen or $25 for a first-aid kit in the ship’s shop.

Basic cruise essentials cost 3-4x more onboard. That bottle of ibuprofen? $18. Forgot your Extension cords (if they’re allowed)? $30. Need batteries for your camera? Better sit down before seeing the price.

Pack a small first aid kit with basics. Check what electrical appliances and prohibited items your line allows. A little preparation saves major money.

Final Word

Look, I’m not saying don’t spend ANY money onboard. But be strategic about it.

Skip the onboard luxuries that are obvious cash grabs. Save your splurge budget for unique experiences like that bucket-list shore excursion or a truly special dinner.

The best cruise memories rarely come from onboard purchases anyway. They come from watching the sunset from your balcony, making friends at trivia, or discovering a hidden beach with locals.

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